Im sorry

i forgive you

A clean year is a great step, It might have been shitty but things will only go up But you made it through, you did this by yourself, sure people might have been there for you, maybe not, but that doesnt always help, you did it though and you should be proud

i want to be proud of myself but it doesn’t feel like something to celebrate, it feels like another number on my shoulders and another set of muscle memories that are fresh enough to dig up too easily and i miss the comfort of cutting and i am scared that i have just been finding less obtrusive ways to self-destruct

it takes half a tab of klonopin just to walk around the block these days and i don’t leave the house for days on end; i freeze up when approached and have to fall back on rote memory for who i am supposed to be and what i am supposed to do and how i am supposed to act, i can’t remember what i’m doing here, i don’t belong anywhere and i feel like an intruder in my own life

i’m cutting ties and paring down, trying to protect myself, trying to be safe, but the smaller my world gets the bigger i feel and i hate myself sometimes i really do
i’m sorry
you didn’t ask to hear any of this
i don’t really talk anymore

thank you for listening

2 275 reproducciones
(*Fin) — Anberlin

things to remember

  • all the lights are on and you are alive 
  • you are not damaged goods 
  • punishing yourself for what he did to you is letting him win 
  • nobody cares so much about your appearance as you do 
  • all bleeding stops eventually 
  • nightmares can be real but you are safe 
  • there are bad people in this world, but there are so many more people who care 
  • you are not defined by people’s perceptions and opinions of you 
  • no issue is one-dimensional 
  • occam’s razor is not as sharp as it sounds 
  • you don’t miss them, you miss the friend you thought them to be 
  • there are some things you will never know and that’s okay 
  • caring about and caring for someone are not synonymous 
  • you can’t save everyone 
  • sometimes you have to solve your own problems before taking on the problems of others 
  • do not break your goddamn wrist 
  • if you can’t move forward, try a step sideways
“How do we forgive ourselves for all of the things we did not become?”
— "14 Lines from Love Letters or Suicide Notes," by David ‘Doc’ Luben

(Fuente: bruisedkneesclub)

por mementoxmori (inicialmente bruisedkneesclub) etiquetado q tw

it’s been 366 days since the last time i cut

a whole year clean, a shitty year and i’m still here

i don’t know how i feel about this

you make me sad

i’m s orry

I loce you yoyre gonna go and do graet thonks anf i hpe you know how anzming yiu ar loveyou aoeey dorvthis i csnt om so sorry il oove you be wafe lpsse ik soryvsoory

oh god hayley i’m so sorry

Im glad your mom is going to be okay Keep getting stronger

i want to be a better person

You are there for her and that is what she needs Do your best it will workout

i’m so scared that the girls will grow up like me i’m so scared that i’m a catalyst

2 203 reproducciones
Centuries — Fall Out Boy

(Fuente: dweeblordzuko)

por cigarette-cat (inicialmente dweeblordzuko) etiquetado a